Reconciliation – A Form of Repair

Spelman has done a great job throughout the novel of explaining repair performed by human beings, or her term, homo reparans. In chapter seven she has a concluding statement of,

“In any event, repair is necessary because – theological views aside – we are manifestly imperfect creatures in an imperfect world” (Spelman 136).

She notes that we never will be perfect beings. I feel as though constantly repairing is a way of striving for perfection. With so much in the media today of “the perfect body” or “the perfect marriage,” sometimes we humans forget that imperfections are simply ok. For example, I’m sure we’ve all seen a cover of People or Cosmopolitan magazine with an airbrushed celebrity on the cover. Their looks are not even real nor attainable. Yet, as homo reparans we continue to strive for this perfect image because it feels natural to us. Bettering ourselves makes us feel good. But if the idea of perfection is not achievable, what are we working for? Spelman state,

“It reminds us of some facts about the human condition that perhaps we tend to find disturbing” (Spelman 139).

This reminds me of the idea of simply being ourselves. Spelman never truly touched on the concept of self help or self repair for the sake of one’s own happiness. This is another important form of repair that is constantly done by humans. Every time we exercise, eat healthier, or see something we strive to be like, we are choosing to repair ourselves. Without self repair, we would all be lazy and have nothing to work for. But with too much of it, it can be dangerous. An example could be having an eating disorder, such as anorexia or bulimia. This can display a reason why Spelman may find the human condition occasionally disturbing.

The aspect of theological views has reminded me of my own religion of Catholicism. Spelman explains,

“There is no such thing as a science of apology or a science of reconciliation” (Spelman, 138).

As a Catholic, I received the sacrament of reconciliation when I was in second grade. Reconciliation is when you tell the priests your sins, or your wrongdoings, in order to receive forgiveness from God and repair your relationship with him. In my opinion, this was a large concept for an eight year old to grasp. This can be another form of repair humans experience. There’s repairing objects, relationships with other humans, repairing ourselves, and repairing one’s relationship with God. In the Catholic Church, you can receive this sacrament as many times as you want. Growing up in Catholic schools for the past thirteen years of my life, I went at least once every year after second grade but I never went on my own out of a pure longing to go. Every time I went, I would confess the typical sins of a child; I’ve disrespected my parents, I’ve been judgmental, I said something cruel, I’ve told a lie. Once I confessed, I felt as though I had a fresh new start to be a better person. After confessing these sins, you are supposed to be sorry with all your heart and have the intent to never commit the sins again. But how was I supposed to know that I never would? I apologized to God and I knew he forgave me without hearing his direct words to me, such as when humans apologize and forgive each other there are these exchanges made. There are many differences between repairing a relationship with God and repairing a relationship with another human.

Reparations Versus Apologies

In chapters four and five of Repair, Spelman does a great job of explaining the difference between reparations and apologies and relating them to repair done by humans; the overall theme of the book so far. She discusses how reparations can be done silently and apologies sometimes have a negative connotation associated with them. Just like a relationship is in need of repair, an apology takes two people to take part in it. Spelman states,

“The repair that apology tries to carry out cannot be accomplished only by the apologizer. An apology is an invitation to share in a ritual of repair, in a dance that takes more than one dancer” (Spelman 85).

Once an apology is given, the one giving the apology must genuinely feel bad for their actions or whatever wrongdoing occurred. The one who received the apology can either wholeheartedly forgive the other person or choose to not accept the apology. In my opinion, if I were to receive an honest apology I would feel better about forgiving someone than not accepting the apology. Holding on to a grudge only hurts yourself, not the other person. Throughout my personal experience, whenever I had done something wrong to my parents or something they viewed as wrong within my life, I always felt compelled to say I was sorry for my indiscretions. My mother and father told me not to apologize but to show that I was sorry through my future actions. The next time I would be presented with a situation to rebel, I would remember to choose to do the right thing in order to show my parents I was genuinely sorry. As Spelman would say, I was participating in the dance with my parents by cooperating with the apology.

In contrast to an apology, Spelman explains,

“Indeed, it may well be the case that prior to the kind of inquiry that the call for reparations embodies, apology for those inquiries will be premature: One has to know what one is apologizing for. So, even if reparations mean never having to say you’re sorry, they may sometimes be the necessary prelude to learning just what one is sorry for.”

An apology and reparations can coincide. Sometimes one can feel as though an apology is a negative thing and he or she may feel guilt if they express their feelings. If an apology is given, one is aware that they have done something wrong. For this reason, one may consider reparations as a better way to mend the situation. Although, reparations can also lead to guilt. If guilt is experienced, then one may automatically become aware of what he or she was sorry for in the first place, as Spelman explains. Just as Willie and Fred use tools to repair their vehicles and Ruth uses her words to repair relationships in the previous chapters, reparations and apologies are the tools to repair relationships between human beings. These are aspects of repair throughout our everyday lives as Homo reparans.

Reality Within Repair

While reading Elizabeth Spelman’s novel, Repair, I find it interesting that she uses real life situations to explain her thoughts on the idea of how repair is an important aspect of human’s lives. She explains that repair occurs within one’s profession and within human’s relationships. Each situation that she writes about describes a different form of repairing for a plethora of reasons. Almost anyone can relate to these examples, which I think is important for a writer to make sure his or her’s audience can understand what they are discussing. By relating it to reality, readers are intrigued by her work. I admire this technique of Spelman’s and hope to use it in my own work someday.

In chapter two, she states how three different people’s or groups of people’s jobs revolve around repairing; Willie and Fred repairing vehicles and Louise and her colleagues repairing a famous painting. I feel as though many people can relate to repairing within their profession. When doctors have patients with broken bones they have to carefully repair the bone to function just as it did before it was broken. Plastic surgeons have a similar tasks when it comes to, for example, fixing a nose a patient is not satisfied with. It may work perfectly fine but the patient feels as though it needs repair. This is unlike any of the repair done by Willie, Fred, and Louise and her colleagues. Willie repairs vehicles in order for them to function correctly again. Fred is repairing his motorcycle so that it will be as good as new. Louise and her colleagues are repairing Newman’s painting to look exactly like it did before it was destroyed. I would not say that doctors are bricoleur, like Willie. Doctors do not simply make do with what they have. Their practice takes an extreme amount of skill and schooling in order for them to be as successful as they are. Also, scars can be left behind during surgery or after an injury so their work is neither like the invisible mending of Louise and her colleagues. Another example of repair done in the workplace could be a magazine editor editing his or her employees articles. The editor fixes mistakes and improves upon his or her’s employee’s work but does not take full credit for it. Although, there is typically a page in the front of a magazine that tells about the editor so therefore some recognition is given. Unlike Fred who wants to take full credit on the motorcycle that he is working on. He wants it to look like the original model but he also wants to put his own unique twist on it. An editor’s employees are similar to Louise and her colleagues because they work under their boss, whereas most doctors, Willie, and Fred work for themselves. This is proof that there can be many different kinds of repair done in one’s occupation for various reasons.

Spelman explains a situation in chapter three that has to do with repairing relationships between family members and significant others, which takes place within the household, a place for repair. A teenage girl, Jackie, has an unplanned pregnancy with her boyfriend and is conflicted between keeping the baby or aborting it. Teenage pregnancies have been occurring frequently within the past few years and many young girls have had to make the same decisions Jackie makes. Her father, Henry, wishes she will abort the baby but her boyfriend may break up with her if she does not. Her mother, Ruth, is the repairer in this situation because she has to guide Jackie to make the right decision for her entire future. I found it interesting that the men in Jackie’s life are the ones strongly giving their opinions to Jackie. I feel as though, with the help of Ruth, Jackie can make her own decision. Spelman presents these questions regarding Jackie’s life,

“What is the best thing for Jackie to do . . .? How might her decision affect her relation to her parents? What kind of life would the child have? What kind of emotional and economic support does Jackie need?” (Spelman 44).

Ruth is not trying to repair something to do with her occupation, yet she is repairing the life of her daughter by acting out her job as a mother. Through intense counseling Ruth will help to make Jackie make the right decision. Although, it may be up to Jackie to fix the relationship with her father or her boyfriend depending on what decision she makes.

Spelman has related real life situations to the main theme of the book. I also admire how she compares males and females. Overall, Spelman frequently uses the technique of getting her readers to comprehend what she is discussing by relating her topic to reality and I hope to make this clear in my own writing.