Apologies

“Children need to learn what an apology is, and when, how, and to whom to make one. They need to think about what it means to keep or break a promise. They need guidance in identifying what constitutes damage in themselves and others, aid in reflecting on what it is possible to fix, and what not.” (Spelman 34)

In this quote from chapter 3 of Repair Spelman is talking about the importance of children learning what a real apology is at a young age, and knowing when to actually make one. She also mentions that children need to be raised to be able to identify when they have caused damage to someone else, or even themselves for that matter. I thoroughly agree with this quote, and in fact I believe that nowadays apologies have lost their meaning and they are just thrown around for no reason. It is almost a force of habit at this point for people to apologize and say “sorry” when no real emotional or physical harm has been done. Using this word so gratuitously for no reason is similar to someone saying they “hate” something when they really just dislike it. Overuse of both of these words diminishes the value of them in both our language and culture. This is also why children need to learn when to actually apologize to mend a relationship, when an actual apology is warranted, and to know how to identify real damage.

This quote is similar to chapter 5 when Spelman goes on to say “In order to apologize-really apologize, and not just utter some words-for something one has done or failed to do, one has not only to acknowledge responsibility for but express sincere sorrow and regret over this action or inaction.” (Spelman 82) This quote seems to be getting at the same concept described in chapter 3, but taking it further by describing what a genuine apology would be. According to Spelman to make a genuine apology the person must come clean and take responsibility, but also express sorrow and then formally apologize by saying “I’m sorry”, or something along those lines. In my opinion, if one is trying to truly apologize and mend a relationship Spelman’s method of apologizing definitely seems to be the best way to do it and really get your point across that you are genuinely sorry for your actions. Simply saying something like, “I’m sorry for my actions” isn’t enough when you have done actual damage that has caused relationship problems. Instead, you should really talk about what you have done, how it makes you feel, and how it has impacted the other people involved. Personally, I feel as though a true apology shouldn’t “beat around the bushes”, but instead be concise and to the point because it really is the only way to know if someone is being sincere or not.

Overall, learning when and how to actually use an apology is an important skill that needs to be learned at a young age, and is important in cultivating relationships. It is no coincidence that people who have maintained long-term friendships or relationships are also the ones who have to learned to take responsibility for their actions and apologize. Also, a genuine apology must come from the heart, and it takes a lot of guts to admit when you have wronged someone, but it is all part of the reparative process when it comes to patching up a relationship. Apologies can sometimes be hard, but in the end not only will a relationship be fixed, but it could potentially be stronger than ever, and bring you that much closer to that person.

Restorative Justice Vs. Criminal Justice

“Restorative Justice isn’t only about fixing the flaws and making up for the imperfections in existing legal institutions; It’s about putting the repair of victims, offenders, and the communities of which they are a part at the center of justice.”

In this quote Spelman is talking about how Restorative Justice doesn’t just have the potential to fix many of the faults in our current justice system, but it also has the potential to help repair the trauma caused by the offender. This quote also touches on the fact that the process of restorative justice brings the community together to help rehabilitate the offender, and possibly prevent future offenses. The modern justice system that we abide by today has repeatedly been proven to be ineffective, wasteful, and in many cases pointless; and restorative justice may be able to help. One of the main issues with the current criminal justice system is that it fails to identify the areas which need repair, and therefore it is a flawed system where lessons are rarely ever learned, and many times where even more harm is done. This is why I support the idea of restorative justice, because on paper it makes much more sense than our country’s current way of dealing with crime. Wouldn’t it be better to be able to sit down with the offender, the victim, and members of the community and try to talk it over then to throw the person in jail where they are not receiving any sort of rehabilitation? Although I realize this system would not always work, I think many people will agree with me when I say that it seems to be a far better solution compared to the current criminal justice system and it’s abundance of flaws.

I personally have experienced restorative justice in action, though it may have been on a much smaller scale, I can vouch for its effectiveness. Growing up with an older brother was a little rough at times because it seemed as though we would never get along, and we would constantly overstep our boundaries with each other. We would fight both verbally and physically, and most of the time it would end in tears. When things like this happen in a household it is any mothers natural reaction to punish the kids by grounding them or taking away privileges, and that is exactly what my mom did. Over time though, she realized that no amount of punishment would get me and my brother to stop fighting, and that it wasn’t really getting through to the root of the problem. This is when she decided to try, and sit down as a family and attempt sort things out verbally. Me and my brother discussed our problems with each other, and my mom discussed with us how the fighting made her feel. From this discussion my brother and I learned to get along better, and the whole experience certainly strengthened our relationship.

Overall, restorative justice could be a viable replacement to our current system of justice, and if not we could at least learn something from it. Restorative justice is by no means a perfect solution to crime, but it is definitely a start. Mending the relationship between the offender and any victims is much more productive than immediately punishing the person, and it is a much better use of resources in general. The idea of restorative justice is a great example of how repair could have the potential to better our society, and although it will never be a perfect one, there is no reason not to strive for it.

Repair Response 1 – Daniel La Mastra

In Elizabeth Spelman’s book Repair, specifically chapter 2, she talks about different types of repairs. She first talks about Willie, a mechanic who simply wants to repair cars and get them running again. Spelman talks about how in Willies line of repair “no job is the same” and how there “are contingencies and anomalies that can’t be anticipated”. This factor makes Willies line of repair difficult since there is very rarely any standard protocol to a particular job, and there are certain things that even a computer can’t predict. Willie is also defined by Spelman as a “Bricoleur”, meaning “someone who makes do with what is at hand”. Essentially, this means that Willies collection of various nuts, bolts, and gears has been put together over the years, most of which he gathers from repair jobs that he does on a daily basis. Willie will then use these parts to make new repairs, breathing new life into old, forgotten parts. Spelman goes on to say that since Willie is a Bricoleur, and that he can only use the parts he has in his collection to make repairs, he will often find creative ways to improve on the design of the cars that people bring into his shop. For example, Spelman talks about how Willie redesigns a door handle on a particular car, improving the functionality. Thus, Willies main goal is to get each car running again as smoothly as possible. He will often disregard original designs, switch around parts, use a different paint, and all around really leave his mark as a repairman on each job. It is in this way that Willie differs from Fred, another character that Spelman talks about. Fred wants to repair his vintage motorcycle, but not in the way Willie repairs people’s cars to working condition. Fred wants to “restore” his motorcycle, in other words, he wants to adhere to the original design of his motorcycle as much as possible and make it appear as if it just rolled out of the lot in whatever year it was made. Spelman says that much of Fred’s time is spent tracking down original parts and trying to confirm their origins and authenticity. So, by definition Fred is not a Bricoleur like Willie, but this scavenger hunt for parts makes Fred’s job that much harder and more of a labor of love. In fact, Fred is so dedicated to authentically restoring his bike that he resists the urge to use a redesigned safety-enhancing shift and throttle control. Fred goes on to say, “I could have converted the controls-lots of restorers do. But in an effort to enter into the spirit of the thing, I opted for the authentic factory style”. Also, Spelman mentions that “the closer the bike comes to replicating an original, the more worried Fred becomes about actually using it”. This means that Fred’s intended goal is not to restore his bike and ride it around, but rather to restore it and get a little glimpse into the past. Fred himself even remarks, “I’m not riding this bike anywhere. I might put a scratch on it”. Although Fred and Willie may seem very different as repairmen, what they do have in common is that they both want to claim responsibility for the work they did, and leave their own mark on a project. This is where Louise, Elisabeth, and Irene come into play. Louise, Elisabeth, and Irene are all repairers of classic art, but if the job is done right it should appear as though no repairs have been made at all. This is what Spelman calls “invisible mending”. Louise, Elisabeth, and Irene just want to preserve the artwork and reverse the damages of time, they in no way want to impede on the artists original painting and style. Spelman goes on talking about how Louise, Elisabeth, and Irene must keep careful records of each repair made so that future repairers working on the particular painting can undo changes easily and make new repairs. Spelman also talks about how they try to keep repairs to a minimum because “the value of a work of art depends on its being an original, something directly created by the hand of the artist.” This means that each repair made, no matter how small it may be could detract from the originality of the piece of work. To summarize, chapter 2 focuses on physical repairs, and gives three different examples of those repairs (Willie, Fred, Louise, Elisabeth, and Irene). Chapter 2 also gives different reasons as to why people see the need to try and make these repairs. In chapter 2 Spelman is simply trying to allude to the fact that it is human nature to repair objects and various things around us.